* Based on a talk given to mentors at Google Developers Student Clubs on July 2023
Why listen to me:
– Mentored hundreds of startup founders and some executives as well.
– Participated in many international programs [Google for Startups EU is my bellowed home though].
– Won EMEA mentor award for 2023 from Google for Startups [the love is mutual, as you see]
– Got nothing to sell to the mentors’ community – no podcast, no newsletter, no courses…
Let’s hit it off chronologically – from the beginning of the first session with a mentee forward.
Pitfall #1: R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Do you hate talking about yourself favorably? Get over it! I have.
Gaining respect takes time, but it’s way easier if you establish your expertise and authority from the get-go.
It also has a direct influence on the mentorship outcomes.
It’s not enough to be respected as a mentor, though. You should also establish specific expertise when touching on a particular topic.
For example, while most people I mentor know that my expertise is Strategy and Strategic Storytelling, they have no idea that I have solid experience in research. So, I’ll invest a full minute elaborating on it, before giving a perspective on the topic.
Pitfall #2: Talking too early
Do you have the tendency to think about what to say when the other person speaks? – Don’t! It’s not a debate.
Put your ideas on hold. Ask questions.
There were sessions when I asked questions for 45 minutes out of a 60-minute mentoring session. But when I spoke, I was ready.
Having said that. If you spot a profound misconception, a wrong perspective, or a bad attitude – stop everything and note it. This is what you are there for.
Pitfall #3: Not understanding TRUE motivations
“Human, All Too Human,” said Niche, and this is exactly what we are.
I always try to work with CEOs or co-founders, who are usually oriented toward the best possible outcome for the company. But even they sometimes need to align with internal politics.
As to employees, Seth Godin said it best, describing two fundamental needs of employees in an organization as “no hassle” and “no risk”…
Notice that I don’t say it with criticism. This is the way things are.
So, embrace the shallow human motivations, and steer around them on the course to the greater good.
Pitfall #4: Telling people what to do
Being a consultant, my initial instinct is to tell people what to do (sometimes I get an unbearable urge to shout – “just f#%ing do this, cause I told you to!”). But it won’t work and it won’t be mentoring.
People resist change. Especially when they are pushed towards it.
Mentors’ goal is to treat the cause, not the symptom: to change counter-productive perspectives and attitudes that stand in the way of progress.
With that being said, at some point, when you manage to change their perspective, you also earn the right to tell them what to do from time to time… Use it wisely!
Pitfall #5: Choosing the wrong battle
You don’t have to state your opinions on everything!
No, seriously, don’t stress out not finding a topic you are good at. It’s just one question away from you at every given moment.
Even if you have a strong grasp on topics that are beyond your core expertise, know when to stop.
For me, such a topic is product strategy. I mentor it, but my perspective lacks a proper grasp of technology, so I had to learn the hard way when to shut up.
Pitfall #6: Providing information
This last pitfall is the only one I manage to avoid, and this is because of my day job.
Information is a miserable way to take your message across. All facts have counter facts and intelligent people like to quibble over them.
Choose storytelling. Walk your mentees through possible scenarios. They mimic true life experiences and usually raze no objections.
Do straighten your scenarios with facts – use them as supporting characters.
So, if you want to be taken seriously, you should start by presenting yourself properly (rule #1), listen carefully (rule #2), and understand what people want before giving your perspective (rule #3).
If you want to make sure your advice is impactful, you should choose the right battles (rule #5), focus on perspectives and attitudes (rule #4), and provide scenarios instead of facts (rule #6).
And don’t forget to enjoy the privilege of being a mentor. It’s incredible!